The Continued Wait...

It seems like there is rarely a day that Tim and I don't hear, "so when is your baby girl coming??" I can't tell you how much we long to have an answer to that question besides... "We really don't know!"

The truth is, only God knows, and as my sister always says (from firsthand experience), "either we trust Him, or we don't." We have to trust in God's perfect timing!

I have to admit, it has been awhile since my last post mainly because I don't want any of my blogs to become a "blah, blah, blah, woe is me, sob story!"

As far as the adoption goes, there really isn't much change. We have changed our referral requests a bit (adding some special needs to our 'yes' list), but the wait time is still unknown.

We do know that there is a large group of referrals from one of the partnership orphanages coming this month... Could she be in this list, we really don't know?! Only God knows, and "either we trust Him, or we don't..." We choose to trust!

As far as other stuff goes, we must admit that this last month has been a rough one! It seems that our enemy, the devil has been prowling around like a lion waiting for someone to devour...
I was hesitant to share, but a mentor friend of mine told me that this is a story to share because it is a story of God's power in our marriage!!

If you remember, awhile ago I shared about reading a Psalm each day during this waiting time to help keep my eyes fixed on Him and not on my circumstances. What a blessing it has been to read the Psalms and see King David's heart as he walks with The Lord. About 3 weeks into that time, my mind began to dwell on some not so great thoughts.

I began thinking untrue thoughts about myself, and untrue thoughts about our marriage. I was allowing these thoughts to rob me of any joy!! I stopped reading my Bible and became consumed with my thoughts.

I thought for sure that my husband didn't love me (completely unwarranted) and that he would leave me because I wasn't a good enough wife (again, unwarranted). I do recognize that all marriages, including ours, go through rough patches, and that marriage is HARD, but this was not one of those times. Tim was more than showing his love and devotion to me, and yet, I couldn't help but think these thoughts.

One night Tim and I were discussing all of this and kind of going round and round in a circle.  Nothing was making sense... I was feeling a huge weight of all of this being "my fault" (a weight I was putting on myself). It was as if the real me was on the inside going, "why are you even thinking these things? Why are you letting these thoughts paralyze you?" And yet, that's exactly what was happening... I was paralyzed by these thoughts!! It was at that moment that I realized... I (we) have an enemy that prowls around, and I became a vulnerable target to his "flaming arrows."

I was blindsided... How often I forget that our enemy is real, and that he truly desires to ruin our lives and ruin our marriages!! He is crafty, and knows our weaknesses, and yet, "Our God is greater, our God is stronger!"

When I recognized the enemy's hand in my thoughts and that those thoughts were affecting our marriage, the enemy no longer had the power!! I also remembered that a friend of mine (who has adopted kids of her own) told me at the very beginning of our adoption journey "remember that the battle is not against your husband..."

Tim and I have never been willing to settle for a mediocre marriage!! We work hard at making our marriage great, and yet there are times when the enemy still tries to step in and rob us of our joy!! Thankfully I serve a great God and have a husband who is willing to fight alongside me in this battle!!

So, as we continue on in our wait, we have become more aware of the enemy and the schemes that he will use to try to rob us of the joy and contentment that can only be found in Christ!! We ask for your continued prayers as well!! Ephesians 6 reminds us of the daily battle we are in and that we should pray for ALL the saints as well...we are all in this and we need each other!!

In closing, when I returned the next day to read in Psalms, the passage for that day that I chose to memorize (after many days of not reading) was Psalm 20:7... "Some boast in chariots and some in horses, but we will boast in the name of the Lord our God." This was written by the very man that stood before the giant Goliath, and said, "You come to me with a sword, a spear, and a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted."

We daily fight in a battle with a strong enemy, but we have a stronger God who fights before us!!

We can't wait for the day when someone asks us that same question, "so when is your daughter coming?" and we will finally be able to show them a picture and give them an answer... but in the meantime, we will continue to trust in the name of the Lord our God!

Bake Sale this Sunday!!!

In January at our Jr. High Winter Camp, our sweet, sweet students sat us down to tell us of their plans...

"We have a surprise for you!!! We've decided to have a bake sale to raise money for baby Nielsen..." These girls had a bunch of the other students sign their names and numbers and sign up for an hour of church that they would help run the bake sale!! They even made their own flyers!!

Our students never cease to amaze us, and we are thrilled to support them in this endeavor!!

Please come out this Sunday, March 10 to FBC to support these kids by buying their homemade goods and help bring baby Nielsen home!!

We are blessed to have so many people help in such tangible ways!! Thank you FBC Jr. Highers!!! We love you all!!

The Prayer Walk

On Saturday, the boys and I were watching a movie about Joseph. When Potipher had Joseph thrown in prison, it showed him being cold and sleeping on the hard ground.

It reminded me of something I had recently read about. In some of the orphanages, the babies cribs do not have mattresses in them, but rather just wood. It is more sanitary that way. I knew that this was a tangible thing the boys and I could pray for.

I began to tell the boys that baby sister may not have a matress or anything soft to sleep on. Jeremy immediately jumped in by saying, "Mommy, you better make sure you pack her a pillow when you go to China!!!"

I assured him I would and then I asked what we could pray for her for. Jeremy said, "that she wouldn't get any splinters!!!" That was something definitely tangible my boys could wrap their minds around. I told them we would pray for that for sure and that we could also pray for comfort and peace as she rests in her crib!!!

We took the walk, and Jeremy took special care in picking out just the right place to stop and pray for her. He settled on the front yard of someones house that had big rocks to sit on right next to the sidewalk, as well as lots of wood chips. He proceeded to give each of us a woodchip to hold in our hands. He said, "let's each hold a wood chip as we pray to think about baby sister and the wood that she might be sleeping on..."

Although we haven't been doing these prayer walks very long, our little boys are blowing my mind away with their thoughts and prayers!!! What a blessing!!! Again, I see why the Lord said, "Let the little children come unto me, and do not forbid them! For such is the Kingdom of heaven."

The WAIT...

So, here we are... in the dreaded "wait stage..." The truth of it is, from here on out, it's pretty much all waiting... FUN???!!!

I must admit that after sending off our dossier, I was glad for this stage to come!!! It was nice to not have to be doing so much paperwork and not have too much stress!!! The hoidays helped a ton with it too being that my mind was distracted by so many things!!

But here I am, January 21, and still no news of who our daughter is... The silly thing is, our wait really hasn't been too long compared to many others (we started the process in April and joined the referral program in September), but I've come to realize one thing... Long or short, waiting is HARD!!!

It has also been a little difficult given the fact that one of the families we started "Join the Journey" with is in China right now bringing their son home, and the other is headed there this week!! Of course we have nothing but excitement for these families, and can't wait to imagine how our trip will be through their stories and pictures!!!

So, I have to confess, these past few months I've had a little bit of a "woe is me" attitude... Have you ever been there? When you're in that place, as I was, it takes something drastic to snap out of it!!!

Thanks to some great adoption blogs, I came up with some good ideas... First thing...I had to stop reading the blogs :-(... You see, I was looking at everyone else's time table, and their story, and I needed to stop in order to not compare!!!... So, looking at other peoples adoption blogs are on hold for me until we know who she is and more information about our daughter that will be helpful to read others blogs about.

Second, I HAD to open the WORD!!! You see, in the "woe is me" attitude, I had lost sight of the fact that this life is not about me at all, but rather about HIM!!! I just needed to soak up TRUTH which is only from His Word!! I began reading a Psalm everyday for this waiting period (an idea I found on a blog)... there are 150 Psalms, and I may get through all of them before we find out who she is, but that's okay!!! I have also been committing a verse from the Psalm everyday to memory. How great it has been to meditate on these words!!

Third, I decided to DO something productive. You see, I don't know if you are like me, but when I'm a little down and thinking mostly about myself, it's no fun to eat healthy and exercise :-)...I decided to take a "Prayer Walk" everyday with the boys... What a blessing that has been!!! I will share our prayer walk story in another blog post...

Taking a walk and really committing to praying for our precious daughter wherever she is has been such a wonderful blessing and has helped me keep on pressing on!!!

So, the question I get daily, by usually at least 3 people, "When are you going to China? Do you know who your daughter is yet?" can only be answered with a simple, "I don't know..." But there is something I am sure of: We serve a God who is completely faithful, who is the sustainer of our life, and is in control of everything!!! His timing is PERFECT and I will rest knowing that He knows who she is and is preparing us for whatever the future may hold!!

As a side note and word of prayer, the next group of kids eligible for adoption comes out tonight...will our daughter be in this group? I don't know, but I do know that if I keep my eyes fixed on Him, it doesn't matter which group she is in... I will just be ready for whenever that may be!!! 

"The China Experience" Fundraiser

I realized that I haven't really posted anything about our fundraiser we had in November,

silly me :-)!!!...

 

 What a great, and amazing night it was!!!

When Tim and I first decided to adopt, we knew there was absolutely no way that we could ever do this without the help of others, and lots of fundraisers!!!! We also knew that we wanted to do 1 really big one!!! We were so overwhelmed and blessed when it finally all came to fruition!!!

This night was the work of months of preparation as well as the help of soooo many people!!! We were so overwhelmed by how much stuff ended up getting donated!!! A special thanks to Melissa, Shauna, and Deanna for all your help getting the food and silent auction items donated!!! A double thanks to Melissa who made the silent auction a HUGE success!!!

The gym also looked beautiful thanks to my mom Debera and some of her friends who came up with the decoration ideas!! A special thank you also for my amazing friends, Jamee, Rebecca, Lindsey, Malee, Lynette, Karen, and others who helped fill bags of rice, and decorate tables!!!

Another special thank you to Jamee for her amazing job running "The China Experience Kids Program!!" They had fun playing Chinese games and making crafts as well as enjoying some "authentic Chinese" chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese :-)!!! Thank you to the many volunteers who helped with the kids!!!

The Men's Ministry (especially Bruce) did another fabulous job of cooking an amazing meal and we couldn't be more blessed to have such a supportive group of people to help with everything!!!

Jeff was able to keep things running along with his amazing Emcee skills and was even able to get people to dig a little deeper in their pockets for the cause (which is very near and dear to his heart as he has adopted 2 of his own)!!!

With all that being said (and I'm sure there are many more thanks you's left out...), Tim and I were completely blown away by our church's amazing support!!! What a blessing!!! I am so thankful that God has allowed us the great opportunity of sharing our story with others in hopes that everyone would find a way to "Join the Journey" to change an orphan's life...whether that is through adoption or partnering with others who have chosen to adopt!!

So...silly us...we forgot to take pictures...oops!!! Here are some pics that someone sent us, as well as a few my mom took from her phone... I wish I had some of the kid's program, but you can just use your imagination :-)!!!

 

Linda and Lisa at the ticket table

 

The adorable centerpieces with live goldfish in them which were sold at the end of the evening...

 

The CD table

 

 

 

There was a time of Q and A where we were able to share our story...

 

The event was amazing and through ticket sales, CD sales and the auctions, we raised over $6000!!! Praise the Lord!!!

 

Thank you all again!!!

Adoption Update and Prayer Requests

Here is a copy of the latest e-mail we sent out:

Dear Family and Faithful Supporters,

                Merry CHRISTmas!!! What a beautiful time of year where we get to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior! We pray that you are all doing well this holiday season and that you are able to take time out of your busyness to remember the reason for the season J!!

                We wanted to update you on the progress of our adoption process as well as share some prayer requests!! As a reminder, you can always check out our blog and even sign up to receive posts via e-mail at www.tntadoption.blogspot.com

First of all, WOW!!! Thank you to each and every one of you who came and/or helped out with our adoption fundraiser, “The China Experience!” We had a great turn out of over 250 adults and children, and we are so thankful to have raised over $6000!!!

                In addition to our fundraiser, we have now officially entered “Stage 2: The Dossier Submission and Waiting” aka, the “WAIT!!!” All our paperwork is now in China, and we just wait for our agency to match us with our daughter… It could happen any day, or even months from now (of course our prayer is sooner rather than later)J. Once we are matched we will enter the final stage which is preparing for travel and actually traveling to China. We are continually learning to wait for God’s perfect timing and rest in the fact that He already knows who our daughter is!!

                We also are super excited about Tiffinie’s CD’s. We still have some available and would love for you to have one! They are not for sale, but rather as a gift to those of you who have helped fund our adoption. The first CD is called, “For Such a Time as This,” and is a praise and worship album, and the second is called, “A Precious Gift,” which is a Christmas album. We pray that they would be a blessing to you as you have blessed us!! For more details on where or how to donate, and how to get the CD’s, please let us know. We have them available at the church, and for those of you in the So. Cal area, my family has some available. We continue to trust God to provide the rest of the funds needed for this adoption! We estimate we need roughly $10,000 more.

                Many of you may also know the Liu family in our church. We would like to extend the invitation to a Pancake Breakfast sponsored by the Orphan Care Ministry to help raise the rest of the funds needed to travel to bring their son Ty home from China!!! What a great, tangible way to help… we all need to eat breakfast J!! The breakfast will be in the church gym on Sunday morning December 30… Make sure you stop on by!! We are rejoicing with them as they will be traveling to China in January to bring him home!!

                Lastly, here are a few things you can be praying for:

                                -Continued peace and patience as we wait for our daughter

                                -Wisdom and guidance as we review the file (when the time comes)

                               and that a perfect match would be found.

                                -That God would continue to provide the funds needed

                                -That God would stir in the hearts of His people to be motivated towards action

                                -That everything will go smoothly with our paperwork in China 

                                -Preparation for our family for whatever “special need” our daughter may have

                We continue to be humbled and stand in awe of all that has happened in the last 8 months to help an orphan girl be joined together with her forever family! “Thank you” seems so inadequate, but we truly are so grateful for everything you all have done! As 2012 comes to a close we continue to praise the Lord for His many blessings! May we keep our eyes fixed on Him as we begin 2013!

 

With joy and love,

Tim, Tiffinie, Jeremy, Drew, and baby girl Nielsen

               

Reflecting over our Journey through Stage 1

I can't believe that it has been 8 months since we sent in our paperwork to AWAA!! The time in some ways has dragged on forever, and in other ways has flown by!! Now that the bulk of our paperwork is complete and we are in the "Waiting Stage," I thought I would take some time to reflect back on our journey so far...

I remember well over a year ago sitting at Starbucks having a conversation with my sister-in-law Maria about the adoption of their 2 kids from Rwanda. I had so many questions for her! That conversation sparked what had already been cultivating in my heart for many years! I remember Maria sharing with me that if God had placed the call on my heart to adopt, then I needed to not let that die out... (as a side note I remember reading something somewhere of a statistic that of those who consider adoption, only around 10% of them will actually follow through with it)

When I approached Tim with the thought, I was so thankful that although he was not on board yet, he said that we should continue to dialogue about it. We started reading a book called "Adopted for Life," and our perspective about adoption completely changed. We started seeing adoption the way God sees it... His heart breaks for the fatherless, the needy, the oppressed!!! He saw us as lost (which is what we are without Him), and He came to this earth to save us and to adopt us as His own. We started to realize that the adoption of a child is so much more than simply expanding a family. It is about becoming a "father to the fatherless," to rescue a child that otherwise would be left without a home, to welcome a child to be a part of our family, to show her hope, to love her unconditionally, and to point her to her true Savior in hopes that one day she too would be adopted into His family!! We knew that we had more room in our family and that this was God's calling on our family!

I remember the time spent looking into where we should adopt from... local/domestic, international, what country, what age, etc. There were so many details to look into and sooooooo many different agencies to use!! It was during this time that as we prayed for wisdom for what God wanted for our family, we settled on China. That week, my friend Lynette was over (not knowing we were looking into adoption) and shared that her friends, the Eby's were adopting from China!!! I knew that we needed to get in touch with them! I called them and asked a lot of questions, and we decided to also use America World as our adoption agency... That began our journey with Stage 1...We were excited to find out there was also another family in our church adopting from China, and so the three of our families banned together to "Join the Journey!"

I remember when we first settled on China, we really couldn't fathom how we were going to get the money to be able to adopt... I must admit that Tim was filled with much more faith than I was. He stated very clearly that "not all are called to adopt, but all of us are called to help the orphan... we just need to make this a team effort!"

At first my mind began to do the math... Let's see, we have a big extended family, a big church family, and know a bunch of people... If everyone we knew even gave a little, we could make this happen!!! I was sooo excited to begin the journey!! We sent out our first support letter, and WAITED, and WAITED, and WAITED.... nothing... not even a dollar! I remember the tears!!

We needed $1500 initially to start the whole process and once we started, we couldn't really back out due to lack of funds... we had yet to receive even a dollar from family and friends, so we were left at a crossroads... Do we not go through with the adoption process, or to we step out in trust? We decided to take the step of faith and trust God to provide! And boy has He ever!!! Why did I ever doubt??? It seems so silly looking back now, but I do remember the gut wrenching emotions of praying for our future daughter in China, and thinking that "I just can't do this!!! This is too hard and people don't get it, and there's no way we can come up with this money on our own!!!...but I can't leave our daughter out there without a family!!"

As far as the finances go, God has continued to provided every step of the way... we are not there yet, but I have amazing faith and hope as so many have come alongside us and joined the journey!! Through our events, fundraisers, Chinese Food Boxes, and faithful supporters, we have been able to complete everything thus far without having to go into debt!! Thank you to all of you who have given to help bring our daughter home!!

As the money started to come in, we began the roller coaster ride of adoption!! We started the "paper chasing" and home study process... what fun!!!??? Everything had to be filled our precisely accurate... everything about us had to be revealed,--our past, our present, our future :-)...Everything had to be notarized (and thanks to our "Join the Journey" night, we found a notary in our church)...

I remember our trip to the Dr.'s with Lora Jeanne (our new friend and notary). She had to notarize the Dr.'s who had performed our physicals. My Dr. was in a complete rush and as we were driving home I realized she didn't fill the form out correctly and stated that I was NOT fit to be an adoptive parent :-)... So, I had to travel back again to have here do it all over again. 

I remember struggling over the fact that although we entered the China program 3 weeks after the Eby's, God had a much slower route for us than for them... they were able to complete their home study in 3 days, and it took us over 2 months...paperwork continually got delayed and things moved a lot slower for us!

It was through all of this that I learned to trust God's timing... He already knows who our daughter is, and when we will be getting her, and knows exactly when everything needs to be completed by in order to get her!

I remember the craziness of things like Drew swallowing a battery (from a tiny finger light that cost roughly 10 cents) and the trip to the ER (they told us we had to go to make sure the battery wasn't leaking acid) that cost us $1000...The craziness of all my tests for my physical that didn't come back normal and fearing that I would find out I had some sort of deadly cancer... Further tests and procedures came back absolutely fine :-)...The craziness of Jeremy starting Kindergarten in the midst of the paperwork stage... The craziness of the Secretary of State office not accepting all the notaries from our agency and having to have them re-done... The craziness of recording 2 CD's to help raise $ for the adoption, and the enemy doing whatever he could to feed me lies, and sabotage the project...I'm sure there's more...

In the midst of this roller coaster ride, we have had to stay focused on the fact that there is a little girl somewhere half way around the world that is waiting for her mommy and daddy to wrap her up in their arms and say, "welcome home!!"

So as I reflect back on Stage 1, none of the former matters... the craziness, the money, the emotions, the exhaustion, etc.! All that matters, is we are one stage closer to holding her in our arms and there being one less orphan in this world...